Freshly baked cookies and other motherhood myths

Before you had kids, did you ever look at families laughing together, having fun, and think, 'One day, I’m going to have a family like that!'?

(Here is where you can insert a laugh) 

You had a dream of the kind of family and mother you’d be. Probably something along the lines of calm, gentle, never yelling at your kids, with a tidy home (I had that, and have been rolling my eyes at that one since my first was born), and freshly baked cookies.

And then you had kids... and the fantasy balloon popped.

Because that smiling family went home, started putting their kids to bed, and those exhausted kids began pushing their even more exhausted parents' buttons and… you know the rest of the story…..

Real life isn’t made up of only picture-perfect social media moments. Deep down, you know it, I know it, we all know it.

Raising children isn’t just smiles, giggles, cuddles, and fun times (though they are amazing!) 

Raising kids is also spending more energy trying to get your grouchy 10-year-old to put on her clothes than it would take to dress her yourself. It’s your 4-year-old pretending to need the toilet AGAIN at 8:00 PM when you put him to bed at 7 PM. It’s him still being awake at 8:30 PM because you’re too exhausted to handle the tantrum bedtime involves.

Raising kids is also staring at a sink full of dishes that was empty two hours ago. It’s never knowing what the bottom of your laundry basket looks like, and finding the evidence that your son didn’t eat his lunch on the last day of school….at the end of summer.

Being a mother can feel so exhausting that all you want to do is sit and cry, but instead, you get up, put on a load of laundry, and then make dinner.

If you’re nodding along, thinking, ‘I wish I could see more of the land of nod’, then stay with me because your non-mum role needs attention too. 

Big time.

This is where YOU, the real you, outside of your ‘mum’ role, comes in.

You know when the safety video comes on during a flight, and they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping your child? There is a reason for that. If you help your child before yourself, you might not have the chance to help yourself, and then no one can help you. 

Motherhood works the same way. No one can help you the way you can help yourself because no one knows what you need as well as you do. Here are a few ideas of ways you can help yourself:

1. The magic of the word ‘NO’. Before saying yes to anything, remember that every yes to something you don’t want to do is a no to something you do want to do.

Your time and energy are limited; choose where you spend them. 

2. Supermum doesn’t exist. 

We all excel in different areas as mums. No mother is perfect at everything. 

What tasks can you delegate? Is hiring help an option?  

Assigning age-appropriate chores to your kids will lighten your load while teaching them responsibility and the skills they’ll need as adults.

3. Do something you enjoy. 

Read a book, watch a film, paint, or meet up with a friend. Doing things that make you happy is a great way to recharge.

4. Catch your Zzzzz

Take power naps during the day to refresh your mind. Even a quick 10-minute nap can make a big difference in your energy and patience.

5. Lower the bar and laugh!

Your to-do list will never end. C’est la vie!  

There will always be more dishes, more laundry, more... more... more…

Lower your expectations and find humour in the chaos when you can. Seeing the funny side of daily challenges lightens the emotional load and helps keep things in perspective.

You aren’t only a mum but also your own person. There are times to wear your ‘mum’ hat and times to wear your ‘you’ hat. Only you can decide which hat to wear and when to wear it, like leaving dishes in the sink for sleep, or cancelling your 'me-time' because your child is sick. It’s about finding that balance and knowing when to switch hats.